I stared at the app for the tenth time that day. No updates. No test results, indicating the presence, or absence, of disease.
My questions remained unanswered.
I was to know in three days.
Three days. Who would think 72 hours would stretch out so endlessly?
Waiting isn’t new to anyone, especially believers. Abraham had to wait for his promised son as he aged. Joseph had to wait for his dream of ruling to come true as he navigated captivity. Paul had to wait in prison instead of sharing the gospel while traveling.
They each waited not knowing the timeline. Did they spend that time fretting, getting angry, and deciding to stop believing God?
I imagine each was tempted to do just that, but ultimately, each kept doing what he was called to do that day. Whether living a godly life in a desert, serving as a slave, or encouraging others in a prison.
Did they ever wonder what God was doing in the wait? Each was human, after all. I know I would have wondered. I know I do wonder.
But they didn’t allow the fear and anxiety of the wait to paralyze them.
Or make them lose faith.
Or carry them into rebellion.
Abraham, Joseph, and Paul had learned that no matter what, God had them. They didn’t have to solve anything. They learned to trust God with everything.
And that learning slowly unfurls anxiety’s icy fingers from the death grip on the heart.
Learning to trust strengthens faith,
Unburdens the mind,
And shores up the soul.
Unfortunately, it’s a lesson that is often best learned through personal experience. Not usually a first-hand knowledge we want to live, but it too serves a purpose. Because as we journey through the school of hard knocks, we build a deeper faith and learn to trust God more.
As we look back on the history of doing life with God, we can see how He brought us through those hard times, how He provided when we needed it most, and how He carried us when we thought we couldn’t continue on.
I eventually received my test results. My medical team devised a plan and I learned a lesson in patience. Even in the wait, I needed to trust God and then do what He authored for my day.
You might be in the place today. If you are, my heart goes out to you. Take a moment and acknowledge it absolutely stinks to be there. Take a full five minutes if needed.
Then start thinking about what is known and true. Separate fact from fear. Because when you play that broken record of ‘what ifs’, the enemy has you right where he wants you. I know, because I’ve been there way too many times myself.
The feelings of fear may not go away completely. But they don’t have to rule you.
Paralyze you.
Dictate your faith or surrender your trust in God.
Keep doing what you need to do each day. Find the positives. Ask for Him to help you build faith and completely surrender, minute by minute. Some minutes will be easier than others. When the harder ones come, ask for His help. He will gladly give it.
You will get through the wait. You will emerge victorious on the other side. God will get you there. Just ask Him for what you need. Let’s ask Him for just that now.
Prayer: Dear Lord, You know what I’m staring down right now. You know how hard my heart is beating and how my mind refuses to relax. You know my heart, that I want to surrender it all to you, but it’s a struggle. An endless, moment by moment, struggle. Please help me. You know what I need. You promise to supply all my needs, and you know them before I ask. Thank You, In Jesus’s name, Amen.