I felt alone, afraid, and uncertain of what God was doing. I was shocked to learn of the betrayal just hours before. With a broken, bleeding heart, I cried out to God. My faith withstood His silence. My heart knew He cared. My mind sang the children’s song, “Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.”
Yet the pain was ever present, my only companion in the empty room. I didn’t know what tomorrow held.
I wanted to go to bed and awaken tomorrow from this nightmare.
King David knew that feeling. The man after God’s own heart was hesitant after Uzzah’s untimely death in 1 Chronicles. The man had simply tried to prevent the ark, God’s place of presence, from falling to the ground, David might have reasoned. Yet, God had struck him down as Uzzah disregarded the Lord’s instructions.
An act that surprised and bewildered David. It didn’t make sense. It left the sweet psalmist with bitter memories and an uncertain heart.
For months that ark stayed put. Many watched and waited to see what the Lord would do next. David relied on what He knew of God. He prayed. He must have reviewed the Scriptures. He wrestled with what he knew and the most recent events. How to reconcile them?
Three months later, as the ark moved to Jerusalem, David rejoiced. In fact, no one could hold him back. He had learned God is good…I just need to learn that I can’t expect to meet Him on my terms.
David even instructed Asaph and his family how to praise God. Instructions David himself was learning and applying. Now, he was understanding. He was building his faith and drawing closer to God. Drawing closer to God brought him joy and joy caused him to rejoice.
The time for lamenting and grieving all that had gone wrong was over. David had matured. His faith grew. He trusted the Lord.
It was time to celebrate.
Do you and I rejoice when the wait is over? I know I was stuck in the lamenting, wondering “what if?” for some time. I repeatedly told God a different ending I wanted Him to pen.
Yet God truly knows best. He can be trusted. Even when things aren’t as I would author I can trust Him. He will redeem even this.
Circumstance won’t cause me prolonged joy. But walking with Him, drawing closer to Him, will.
Like David, I need to maintain a healthy respect for God. His character does not change. When His actions surprise me, I need to revisit His word and spend time with Him in prayer. I may not always understand, but I can trust Him. Words not penned lightly but from decades of doing life with Him.
After I wrestled with Him, and my own emotions. I learned I could indeed trust Him. Even when events weren’t resolved, I did rejoice in my heart as I wasn’t at odds with God. I also learned to surrender what I wanted to Him. That’s plain hard. I want to control the ending- to write the happy final page. But that’s not trusting in His wisdom or love for me.
Maybe you struggle with this too? I’m convinced it’s a lifelong journey for us to completely surrender to Him. But as we learn to do so, He draws us closer to Him. And nothing else could be a greater reason to rejoice!
Prayer: Dear Lord, Like David I have been surprised by Your actions sometimes. But I am learning to trust You. Please draw me closer to You and teach me to allow You to be the reason I rejoice- not my circumstances. Thank You, in Jesus’ name, Amen.