How does she do it? I was absolutely astonished. Our astute second-grader had once again completed her homeschool math assignment in record time.
She must have Daddy’s math ability, I thought as I happily checked all those correct answers day in and day out.
Then one day we began multiplying with double digits. She meandered off to complete her assignment as I helped her younger sister with writing letters.
She returned rather quickly. Not only had she not needed help, she didn’t even need to show any work.
No child of mine could possibly be that smart.
My heart raced as I considered the possibilities. The one calculator in the house was still in my desk drawer. I thumbed through her workbook.
No! I gasped with horror at my daughter’s resourcefulness, lack of morality, and my naivety.
There was an answer key in the back of the book!
How had I missed this? (And why wasn’t I using it?!?)
My heart heavy, I asked the biggest burden: how is it that she didn’t realize she was cheating, and that is was so very wrong?
I felt disappointed and defeated that day. Lord, how should I handle this?
2 Timothy 4:2 gave me some great advice: “Preach the word, be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage – with great patience and careful instruction.” (NIV)
First, what did the Bible say about the matter? Before I could admonish my darling daughter, I needed to know God’s stance myself. (And I should be studying it daily so when these scenarios ‘pop up’ I am prepared.)
Next, I needed to correct and rebuke the behavior, but in a manner that would encourage her to do better- convince her she should do better, and that, with Jesus, she was could do better.
How should I correct her? With great patience and careful instruction – just as God does with me.
Well, that was not going to happen that day. I was too angry to extend that kind of grace.
So that day, I did not confront her with the truth. I prayed about it, discussed it with my husband, and tried to alleviate the stewing anger and frustration.
But as I consulted God, my eyes kept landing on the end of that verse – “with great patience and careful instruction.”
Sigh. My daughter had done wrong.
But as her mother, I needed to correct her Biblically: carefully and patiently.
Corrected she was, with firm love, an education in God’s expectations about honesty, and a dash of grace. Her consequences remained: she had to repurchase the workbook with her own money, and spent her summer re-doing the problems after I removed the answer key.
But that day, the day she learned that I had figured out her lie, I realized she was genuinely remorseful and relieved that both the lie was out, and it could finally be over. Her tears and staggered gasps convinced me she knew it was wrong. She admitted she dreaded every math lesson. She acknowledged she got herself into something her pride wasn’t sure how to navigate out of.
Watching and later reflecting on her response, I knew God was teaching me both a few parenting skills and a few qualities about His character.
He loves me, and you, as much as I love our daughter. Because of that great love He also chooses to correct with great patience and careful instruction.
My darling is not the only daughter to pull a doozy, her mother has chosen that path more than a few times too. I see that He loves me enough not to explode, (as surely He must want to on occasion) or dictate, (He doesn’t even rant and rave!) but instead gently demonstrates patience when I tearfully repent, and restores me to where I belong – forgiven in His arms.
Maybe you too know the desperate relief that accompanies being “found out” yet deeply loved despite…
Maybe you too have struggled to mirror God’s love to someone who clearly crossed the line and really should have know better.
2 Timothy 4:2 is a perfect verse to guide a response.
And, if you have never known that feeling of full disclosure and yet fully loved and embraced…
Well, I wish I could witness you meeting Jesus. Go to Him. Tell Him. EVERYTHING. He will forgive you and encourage you to walk with Him, changing your ways, and sinning no more.
His love with astonish you. And leave you wondering, why you waited so long. You may ponder how He loves like that? And beg an answer for how can I do it too?
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You that You always demonstrate how we ought to do life. It’s not easy. Help me to treat others as You treat me- with great patience and careful correction. Thank You that You will help me, astonish me, and leave me asking, how does He do it? Thank You, In Jesus’ name, Amen.