Fuming, stomping, spitting mad, the emotions coursed through me as I threw a mental tantrum.
We’re back to this again.
That repetitive problem. The issue which is never resolved. That which makes life complicated. I stamped my foot in a rare display of anger, throwing myself into a nearby chair.
“God, why is this still here?”
I knew what my response should be. I needed to think of others. I should not act out of my own emotions, selfishly thinking only of myself. (Philippians 2:3-4) But I am human. Sometimes, my hurt is so deep and so raw I want to selectively “forget” Philippians 2:3-4, harden my heart, soothe my own soul, and speak my mind, letting the flaming phrases fly like an arrow into someone else’s heart!
Yet, that is not what James 1:20 instructs, (because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.) When I give into that temptation, I’m allowing myself to be a witness against God- not where I want to go!
I knew I could call a dear friend and pour my heart out, and she would compassionately listen to the broken record. Or I could do something both more positive and more productive: I could vent to God.
Isn’t that what Psalm 120:1 is really saying? I speak to God and He answers. God cares about us, and He wants us to communicate with Him.
Even vent. Respectfully.
Yes, He certainly already knows the situation and He certainly knows any personal feelings toward it. He also knows He created humans to need to vent, to release all the emotions and reactions.
God wants us to turn to Him when we have any need: a physical need of healing, a spiritual need of finding peace, or an emotional need of processing a hurt.
We are told in James, that in our anger, we should not sin. James also tells us not to slander. We must be careful not to unload on a friend, slandering someone else in the process. And while we’re in a pit of despair, we don’t want to drag anyone else down there with us! The enemy loves for misery to multiply!
Instead, if we spend time with God first, venting to Him and then reining in those raw emotions, we can confidently call a friend if we still desire human comfort. Hopefully by that time, the temper has cooled, the heart has softened, and the mind has cleared. Hopefully we wisely choose the ‘right’ friend to call- someone who will listen objectively and pray us through the situation and the hurt.
Then we can pray together and our conversation is not deafening gossip but glorifying to God.
I know, that’s a hard response to enact sometimes. Resist the urge to pull up a social media app, call a friend, or vent to others while the resentment is raw, the feelings are fresh and the adrenaline is accelerating. James 4:17 reminds us, “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”
Wow.
How convicting! And yet, we do have hope! Philippians 4:13 promises we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Even control our responses. He will help us. We just need to invite Him in.
That day I acknowledged I can’t control people. Sometimes I struggle to try to control myself. One of the fruit of the Spirit is self-control. And God is in the business of supplying our needs, Every, Single. Time.
Are some issues still on repeat? Yes.
Is my reaction more godly? Usually, but not all on my own. I have learned I must invite God into the equation. And when I fail, He is there, waiting for me, forgiving me, and ready to start all over again.
Maybe you can relate with my struggle. We are not alone. We can learn, with the help of the Spirit, to control our responses. I don’t find it a once and done situation. It’s a daily surrender. Not always fun. But oh, so worth it!
Let’s carry these challenges to Him. And trust Him to supply what we need.
Prayer: Dear Lord, You know my reactions. You know how I truly want my response to glorify You. You know what a challenge that is for me. You know the hurt, the anger, the offense which sparked it all. Please help me to turn to You. Trust You. And, surrender to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.