Scrolling through social media I often feel assaulted by angry, accusatory posts. We are living through a difficult time where our world feels turned upside down; everything we knew is now different. I get it. Our tolerance levels are at an all-time low while tension is at an all-time high.
There was a time when hurt feelings spurred us to pick up the phone and call a friend, dumping the details of our felt slights to people who knew us and could help us process. Now often, it’s pick up our phones and post whatever has pushed our buttons, eliciting advice, conjecture, and complaints from near and far, and hurting many others in the process.
While it’s tempting to process that hurt publicly, letting the world know what transpired and expecting their commiseration is not the healthy, mature, biblical approach to resolving life’s interpersonal differences.
The apostle Paul understood a lot about temptations, especially temptations to convince other’s we are right, and then to act on that conviction. In I Corinthians 10:13 Scripture states, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted; He will also provide a way out so you can endure it.” (NIV)
If we are tempted to publicly call someone out what can we do with those strong desires?
Look for a way out.
The above verse contains a promise from God to us: God is faithful. He will give us a way out. He will help us endure, or hold out against, sustain without impairment or yielding. He will help us find a way not to give into temptation!
I Corinthians 10:23 instructs us how to evaluate such a scenario: “‘I have the right to do anything,’ you say- but not everything is beneficial. ‘I have the right to do anything’ you say, but not everything is constructive.”
Is that post blasting someone whose opinion I disagree with beneficial to those who read it? Is it constructive? What is my heart behind that post?
Proverbs 4:23 warns us “Above all else, guard you heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV)
What to do when someone has hurt us or we disagree? Is it worth first place in our hearts? Is it worthy to take the place of Jesus?
When Jesus is first place, we will still disagree with others, still be hurt by comments and assumptions, but that hurt won’t own us. Because Jesus didn’t speak those things, we should not allow those things to speak life (or death) over us.
Philippians 4:7 promises, “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NIV) That promise doesn’t say the hurt will never happen or the sting will be banished. But God’s peace will guard our hearts. That hurt and sting don’t have to barge in and take up residency. If we know who we are in Christ, we don’t need to be controlled by others’ opinions.
When I am hurt, angry, and agitated, what I truly need is to do a heart check. It’s not wrong to be angry. It is wrong to sin in that anger. It is wrong to hurt someone else just because my emotions are dictating my actions. Instead of taking it to a public platform, I need to carry it to Christ in the privacy of my heart. Allow Him to tell me the truth. Allow Him to give me perspective. I need to eagerly receive His peace and trust in His promises.
And, I need to allow Him to author my response. That might be a good run, a letter no one ever reads, a painting in red to get that anger out. And, then some time in His word, claiming His promises and peace. At the end of the day, I pray I can also claim Psalm 104:34, “May my meditation be pleasing to Him, as I rejoice in the Lord.” (NIV)
Prayer: Dear Lord, You know the state of affairs. You know the hurts, the slights, and the screaming in my head. Quiet me with Your love. Help me to resolve in my heart to not sin in my anger. Thank You for Your promise of peace and for a way out of temptation. Please guide me in the quest to abandon temptation and not allow emotion to control my actions. Thank You for Your constant help. In Jesus’ name. Amen.