“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.” Proverbs 1:8-9 (NIV)
Often, our children grudgingly learn the above verse in Sunday school. By mid-elementary, they almost personally connect to the meaning of this verse, finding a few flaws in the instruction from Mom and Dad.
As a mother I see the proverb as a reminder of great responsibility and as a challenge to me as a parent: is my teaching worthy of gracious adornment?
Very few times.
“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.” reads James 3:1.
Teachers will be held accountable by what they teach. All teachers. Not just those who teach at church, not just those who teach at school, anyone who teaches.
If you are a parent you know you can’t delegate this teaching task. Those small eyes noting your every move, those little ears listening to all your words, (not just those intended for them); that precious child is constantly learning. Once you’re a parent, you are a teacher whether or not you ever volunteered!
When my girls were little, I taught them to listen to their bodies. “If you’re hungry, eat something healthy; if you’re sleepy, take a nap; and by all means, if you need to go to the bathroom, GO!”
But the words would have been meaningless if I pushed myself through any of those issues without personally resolving them appropriately. Because all kids have two eyes which seem to work infinitely better than their two ears.
The same is true for laying a foundation of faith: if I tell my children to forgive each other yet hold a grudge myself, my words are useless. If I say time with God is paramount yet overload my schedule so I miss my quiet time and even church attendance, what good were my professions?
The purpose of exploring this passage through this lens is not to inflict more guilt on parents who already second-guess themselves, but to challenge us to be intentional in our teaching.
Let’s evaluate our teaching with these three questions:
1) What do I want to teach?
2) Am I a living example of what I teach?
3) Am I myself teachable?
What do I want to teach? If you claim Christianity, that means teaching the character of God, His rules, His great love, and His plan for salvation. Simply put, to teach it, we must know it. We must spend time in His word and with Him. We must accept His love and grace and forgiveness.
Am I a living example? We’re not talking perfectionism here! Do my children witness a sincere attempt to follow God’s guidelines? When I make a mistake, do my kids see my personal remorse? Do they watch me own up to it? Ask forgiveness? Make it right?
Am I teachable? If I expect my kids to positively respond to constructive criticism, then so should I. Do I readily admit I am still learning? Do I actively search for and expand upon my knowledge? “O Lord, you have searched me and known me!” declares Psalm 139:1 Do I ask the Lord to show me where I need to change?
Parenting is a blessing, the biggest I have ever known! It is also the most challenging endeavor I have ever undertaken. Unlike a job, you can’t take a vacation or a leave of absence from parenting. You can’t put it on pause to go get more education.
But we do have access to the One who knows all the answers. Because although we might often feel like it, we are not alone in these trenches. God wants to guide us. He wants to author our words, propel us into action, and reign in our reactions. And like us, He is on call 24/7, (but He’s not grouchy in the middle of the night!)
And just as He promises us in II Corinthians 12:9, His grace is indeed sufficient! He will guide us, grow us, and gladly cheer us on! All because He loves us immensely, just as we love our children.
With His help, we can instruct our children with grace and faithfulness. He will help us identify what to teach, how to teach it, and ensure we understand the instruction ourselves. And while our children, like us are a work in progress, we will prize them as God cherishes us!
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, Teach me how to teach these precious children. Help me remember the tenderness I feel when thinking of them is exactly how you feel about me. Guide me, grow me, and train me how to teach, so that these children will build a foundation of knowing You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.