“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” I Corinthians 13:4-8
I watched the beautiful bride gracefully waltz down the aisle toward her expectant groom. Her gown was gorgeous, her smile spectacular, but nothing compared to the ecstatic love which shone in her eyes.
“Let her always feel this way,” I breathed in prayer. But I knew those feeling would wax and wane over a lifetime.
If you ‘ve been married any length of time, you realize romance is not an everyday event. That feeling is not constant for any consistent amount of time.
The truth about love is this: it’s not just a noun, a feeling. It’s easy to see how we lose sight of the fact that it is also a verb.
Love originated with God. “God is love,” we read in 1 John 4:8.
He gave us very clear instructions in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 of how love ought to look.
Amazingly, we often are on the lookout for this love without ever contemplating how we should implement it into our own actions.
One day, I excitedly bustled around my house, cleaning everything like mad, including my hardwood floors. That evening my husband and I would leave on an overnight without our children. I was so excited! Then he walked in the door from work. He went clicking around the house on our hardwood floors, in his shoes!
“Please take your shoes off,” I impatiently snapped. (Notice how I ignored verse 4, even though I did say ‘please.’) I mentally justified my words while thinking ‘He knows the house rules and has chosen to ignore them for the past seventeen years.’
There went verse 5.
Ouch!
I should have been gracious, realizing he was hurrying to get ready to leave, having arrived home late from work. In short, I should have expected the best from him, not the worst. If so bothered, I could have sought out the truth of the situation, not rely on my own assumptions.
I could have protected my thoughts and practiced hope (by following Philippians 4:8-9), protecting my heart, our marriage and possibly his sanity! I could trust the Lord to supply grace when either or us were insensitive, exhausted, or just plain thoughtless.
I could refuse to give up on him, on our relationship, on God Himself, trusting His plan for us.
The command in Matthew 22:37 to love with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength was not only to love the Lord, but every one. Especially the one we promised to love as long as we both shall live.
It’s not easy. As a member of many different churches over a season of several decades, I have been in many a women’s Bible studies. I have heard many stories, a myriad of frustrations and manic moments!
Practicing love day in and day out is not always sunshine and roses; in fact, it seldom is ever those things. It’s patience when exhausted, gentleness when stressed, and understanding when inconvenienced.
And there’s no way we can practice that kind of love without God’s love pouring through us.
No matter how ‘nice’ you are, we are all still human.
I am still human.
Later that night, after our ‘great escape’ began; he told me about his day. The impromptu meeting at the end of the day. The meeting that would change some team members lives, as their positions were to be obliterated. How he personally knew how it would affect many of their lives. How burdened he felt.
As he unloaded, I felt awful. But I needed to hear it. My clean floor was SO insignificant.
How often do we get caught up in what we are trying to do and can’t see anything from another’s perspective?
God knew why we need the Love Chapter. We are human. He knows humanity. He knew we needed an instruction manual!
And I learned, I need to read it more, to think about it more, and trust Him to teach me, extend grace when I fail, and work on my husband when he fails too.
Maybe you struggle here too. Will you join me in asking for His grace to help us each seek godly relationships, trusting God to fill in the gaps we create? With His help, we can persevere!
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, You know my heart. You know my deep desire to be loved and to love deeply. Please help me protect my relationship by learning to love as You instructed. Thank You, that You help us to love like You- with hope, trust and perseverance. In Jesus’ name, Amen.