In my early thirties, I experienced a heart-wrenching diagnosis: stage 3 cancer. I needed four surgeries, five months of hard chemo, 28 radiation treatments, and a full year of IV drug therapy. Altogether, my treatment lasted over 15 months.
But please don’t think, “poor her”. God was unbelievably gracious during that entire journey. Through that time, He taught me about faithfulness. Not only His faithfulness. But my faithfulness.
Before my diagnosis, I had established a practice of rising early before my three children (then ages nine years down to a newborn), awoke.
First, I would have quiet time with the Lord before exercising. I had learned I needed to care for me before I spent the day caring for my family.
After diagnosis I continued with that routine (although the mileage of exercise decreased!). I also chose to sprinkle moments of prayer throughout my day: over the dishwasher, in the laundry room, or hiding out in my closet.
I never felt closer to God than when I clung to Him through cancer.
Eventually I finished treatment and after about two years, I fully recovered. Today, thirteen years later, I am cancer-free!
Here’s what I learned about my faithfulness:
It’s easy to cling to God when I feel there’s no other option. It’s simple to consult Him for every single thing when it feels like my life depends on it. I had to rely on God to get me through cancer.
But when life returns to ‘routine’, and my needs felt ‘normal’, I tended to drift into doing things on my own. But, I learned that is when the full test of faithfulness comes: when there is no crisis.
I bet you, like me, are ecstatic to emerge for this pandemic: Oh, to eventually travel again without worry of catching COVID-19! To host dinners, parties, celebrating with tons of people- oh, the sheer bliss of it!
But I don’t want to forget all those whispers of reassurance my soul heard the past year. Those moments of cradling, comfort, and yes, even contentment in my Father’s arms.
Let’s not eclipse those out with the welcome noise of the beloved crowd.
In my exuberance of socializing with many, I can’t forget the One who faithfully carries me when I am paralyzed in agony, ambivalence, and feeling very much alone.
God is faithful. He promises in 2 Timothy 2:13 that even when we are faithless, He remains faithful.
How can I practice faithfulness to Him?
Every day, it takes intentionality.
Everyday, it takes commitment.
Everyday, it takes trusting in His promise to provide for my needs.
He knows when a heart is seeking Him. He knows when I wrote Him in ink on my to-do list. And He certainly knows my frustrations when I fail. He also knows when I choose to stop, turn around, and return back to Him.
Maybe like me, you found this world-wide shut down has opened up a new life of serenity and intentionaility of doing what really matters.
Maybe like me, this pandemic has prompted you to search for exactly how God is calling your life to look.
It might be different than imagined. It may be different than what we’ve been doing.
But oh, the blessings of obedience.
By my five-year survivor anniversary my life had returned to ‘normal’. I had firmly identified God’s supreme place in my life and I learned I needed to work hard to keep Him as my first priority. I have learned it’s not just a box on my to-do list. Showing up is a great start. But then I must yield my heart.
Ask Him to author today.
Teach me.
Grow me.
Use me as a vessel to bless someone else.
Because every single day is a gift. And, after surviving thirteen years, it could easily be forgotten.
But the lessons I learned of my need to remain faithful to Him, shouldn’t.
We can emerge from this shut down embracing one another, celebrating seeing each other and living more openly.
But let’s also not forget that we need God’s guidance and directions just as desperately after the crisis is over.
Prayer: Dear Lord, You know. Thank You for supplying my needs during times of crisis. Lord, I don’t like life being altered, but appreciate growing closer to You. When life returns to a little more ‘normal’ please help me prioritize time and relationship with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.