2:53pm Valentine’s Day. I released my final students of the day. I had permission to leave school immediately dashing over to my fourth-grader’s elementary school.
I excitedly signed in at the office, prepared to help with Evita’s last class party of her elementary career.
Thank you Lord that I could come today, I know this means so much to her little-girl heart.
Upon my entrance to her classroom, her beaming smile as she raced to hug me confirmed all the planning, rushing around, and extra effort was worth it.
I glanced around the energized students, and then my eyes widened: each student had a wonderfully decorated box on his desk. One looked like a small basketball court where the Valentines would enter a basket and then collect underneath. One was a beautiful garden, the valentines would collect on a bench amidst blooming color. One student (and presumably his parents) had gone all out and constructed a robot costume he wore, students feeding valentines into his mouth.
I recalled my daughter recently asking if she could take a box from the recycle. I glanced toward her desk. Her rescued Amazon box was covered in pink and red marker hearts, Prime tape still attached.
My stomach sank. Oh, I had failed. While the majority of her classmates had over-the-top Valentine’s boxes for their desk (or their person!), she had a box with simply a bunch of hand-drawn hearts.
Not that she minded hers was not elaborate.
Not that she cared hers would not win any votes in her classroom competition.
But oh, this mom felt like a failure. Why did I not pay more attention to her request for a box? I should have asked questions, I berated myself.
But I hadn’t. After today it wouldn’t matter. What mattered at the moment was I was there, at her class party. I served food to her classmates and guessed their names. Every time I glanced at Evita, her beaming face made me want to cry.
I strive so hard to do it all. Not only do I work full-time, I also began a Master’s degree part-time.
Moms discuss mom-guilt. Now I know what they mean.
Every morning I awake to a full planner. I spend a few moments with God before rising, asking Him to author my tasks of the day.
I ask Him to quiet my thoughts so I might notice a student in my classroom who is struggling not so much with course content, but with life.
I ask Him to help me hear what colleagues and parents aren’t saying, but needs to be discussed openly anyway.
I ask Him to give me a heart to help my family know Him and learn about Him through their interactions with me.
And I ask Him to remind me of the little stuff. Stuff the says to my family, “I am busy but I care ever so deeply about you.”
Jesus reminds us in Luke 10:41-42a that there is only one thing that is important in this life. He tells Martha, “You are worried and upset about many things. But few things are needed, indeed only one.” As the story unfolds He highlights what Mary is doing – listening to Him – to illustrate what is important.
Had I realized why Evita needed that box, I would have devoted much time to pinning ideas, compiling materials, and decorating with her. But what else would not have happened?
Having a nicely decorated box for her half-hour party would have been great. But is it as important as her mom getting enough sleep so she can go again tomorrow and not be grumpy with those she loves?
For Evita, I don’t think so. Every time I looked at her in that classroom she was smiling ear-to-ear. As the party drew to a close and students scurried to collect their things, Evita put her hand in mine and leaned close to my face saying, “I am so glad you came.”
I am so thankful that Evita would rather have time with me than an artistic creation for her Valentine’s box.
I am so grateful God is answering my prayer of showing me what I should do each day. He knew a perfectly decorated box was not important. Although I would not have seen it then, He knew my time was better spent making dinner that night, doing school work, and snuggling on the couch, reading with Evita before she went to bed.
This scenario reminded me how important my early morning prayer is: I have no idea of what the day holds or what is truly important. Only He does. And, He promises to share that knowledge if asked.
“For the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17 (ASV)
I am so grateful I don’t need to do it alone!
Thank You Lord for knowing all things, knowing how I should spend my time, and for giving wisdom. May I always remember to ask You, In Jesus’ name, Amen.