I shook my head in disbelief. That proclamation stunned me.
I was on a committee planning a winter holiday party for children. These kids had all just recently moved with their families so a parent could attend graduate school.
This party was to be a fun celebration with crafts, food and games designed to elicit smiles, produce giggles and forge friendships.
Until one mom balked at our choice of colors. Yes, colors! She rejected red and green because it reminded her of Christmas and “not everyone celebrates that Christian holiday.”
Swallowing hard, I realized we needed to keep the focus on our intent: fun for the kids.
“We could do silver and blue,” I innocently suggested, visions of a winter wonderland with glittery snowflake crafts forming in my mind.
“No, that symbolizes the Jewish faith,” was her retort.
The other ladies sat in stunned silence, stealing glances at one another.
We will never get anywhere with this mentality, I thought.
Not wanting to lose sight of why we gathered together, I angrily prayed, “Lord, how should we handle this? We are here for the kids. Help us to do something nice for them.”
Not only had these children been relocated but these moms and dads as well. Although challenging to see in that moment, I’m sure this outspoken mom was hurting too.
Hebrews 12:14-15 explains how we should interact with difficult people, “Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness — without it no one will see the Lord. Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble by it, defiling many.”
I had to treat everyone in that group with respect and not fuel her inner fire by engaging in confrontations, or a passive-aggressive nit-picking.
I also had to check my feeling for her. I didn’t love her presence on our committee. She often made things quite difficult. But keeping a mental record of her infractions only served to grow my frustration and plant a root of bitterness. If not squelched, that root could lead to venting my frustrations, or gossip; hurting her feelings and serving a counter-witness to the Lord.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you have regular interactions with someone who easily frustrates you.
Maybe like me, you find you sometimes need to step back, and take a breath so you can deal with the scenario in a godly manner, treating everyone with kindness and respect.
Pursuing peace with everyone is certainly not easy. There are times we walk a fine line between pursuing peace and not allowing ourselves to be bulldozed.
Maybe you’ve experienced pursing peace as hard work. Nearly impossible at times, or so it may seem. Maybe like me, sometimes you would rather run and hide than be forced to deal with difficult people.
In this scenario, we planned that party. The bright colors of a neon rainbow created a festive room which was a welcome contrast to the cold, gray winter day.
The kids did enjoy the sparkly crafts, giggly games and tasty treats while parents met each other and found new friendships in a foreign home.
Unfortunately, she didn’t attend the celebration. But I know we each had kept our words and actions peaceful and positive. And, at the end of the day we each left having enjoyed the afternoo
I listened contentedly to my happy preschooler recount all the crazy crafts and fun friends she’d met that afternoon: I learned I would rather pursue peace and have a clear conscious than vent my frustration and regret it later.
God’s word is truly an instruction book of how to do life. Pursuing peace is the correct answer for so many reasons. Peace may not always be possible. As Romans 12:18 instructs: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (NIV)
We did that. I would rather we had all, including her, enjoy that afternoon festivities together. She probably needed that proffered friendship the most. But she didn’t choose it. But what she did receive was courtesy and positivity to her harsh words and negative attitude. Maybe, possibly, we planted a seed. Maybe one day, as she reflects on that incident, she will see God wanted to help her.
The gift I experienced was realizing, with God, I could implement His instructions. In the moment, I didn’t want to. But His Spirit helped all of us do what He instructed.
That day we each were blessed with much-needed laughter and a sense on community. My hearts lightened as I realized I had done, with His help, what was asked of me.
And in the end, that party was a fun-filled celebration!
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, You know my heart. I want to obey Your instruction. Pursuing peace with everyone is awful hard sometimes.
You see. You know. Help me to have the right heart so I may speak the soothing words, do the right things and not allow the bitterness to poison my mind towards another child of Yours. Thank You for promising to supply all my needs so I can obey You, even in the hard things. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
How can I pursue peace today?
What helps me ensure no root of bitterness springs up?