For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
“Lord, why did I ever think I should attempt this?” I desperately prayed as I stared at the computer screen.
Why on earth did I ever think that just because I imagined it, I could actually do it?
Why did I think that God had ordered this path for me?
Why did I assume I would be successful?
My negative thoughts cascaded through my mind, pounding down my too-little faith and flooding over any remains of calling I once possessed.
My hands trembled as my fingers fought for control of the keys. How desperately I wished those same fingers could control the messages appearing in the inbox, not just going out.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.
Really? That was the verse that popped into my thoughts? At a time like this, when it appeared the whole world was falling apart?
“Plans to prosper you,”
Prosper? This was the furthest thing from it. Prosper in a job loss?
Plans to give you a future with hope,”
Lord, I have no idea what the future holds, and I’m really scared.
That’s why you hold on to Me.
Silence.
My brain stopped barking back retorts.
What if this failure was really the beginning of the new success He holds for me?
What if this loss was really the start of a greater gain?
Don’t let doubting thoughts dominate your outlook, I told herself. God does have plans for me. He does want me to prosper, He does want me to meet the future with success. His success. The success He has authored for me.
Maybe today, this day I see fraught with failure, is the day He unveils the start to my success.
I begrudgingly accepted His timing, and that He did indeed have a plan. I accepted this new thing, this path I would never have authored and vowed to work hard, offering only my best.
Was it easy? No. Did I ever want to quit? Definitely. But I began learning the lesson that He has a plan. I don’t have to author my plan.
But if my heart wants to follow Him, I must surrender everything.
Even my dreams.
Even my plans.
Even my goals.
Even the things I believe He planted inside me.
Often, He brings me full circle to those dreams once I completely surrender them to Him. Other times, He has something better in store that I couldn’t imagine.
Do I want a life led by Him? Do I want to draw closer to Him?
Then, I need to learn to obey.
Is obedience easy for you? It’s not easy for me. I argue with Him. He gave me a good mind, I want to use it. He planted dreams in my heart, I want to follow them. He gave me gifts, I want to use them and use them how I imagine.
But no, He wants me to follow Him. Surrender all those things to Him.
He did gift me for a reason. But it isn’t so I can run off and do my own thing. The best blessings are realized when I follow His leading.
“If you love me, you will keep my commands.” John 14:15.
Mark 12:30 states, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and all your strength.“
In applying those verses to life, we would then surrender what we want.
That. Is. Hard. At least for me.
Yet, I am learning, there’s no where else I would rather be than exactly where God is planting me.
Even when it’s hard.
Even when it’s messy.
Even when it’s certainly NOT what I would have authored.
Because I am learning that in time, He does redeem everything, just as He promised in Romans 8:28.
Not necessarily in my timing, or my way, but redeem He does.
Are you in a spot today where you need to surrender? Are you having a hard time with it?
Is it hard to believe right now, looking at your situation that there even is a master plan?
When impossibilities shower upon us, it’s hard to always claim Jeremiah 29:11. Especially, if that shower is a storm of self-doubt. Especially if we never saw it coming.
Yet He did. He knew it was coming. And, He knew how He would bring about good from it.
He. Is. In. control.
Even when our world feels it’s spinning out of control. He has us. He will bring good from even this.
Let’s work at trusting Him.
Prayer: Dear Lord, Your promises aren’t intended just for good times, times of excited anticipation. They are to be claimed in the bad times too, even when, especially when, the enemy we’re fighting is the frame of my mind, not believing the “big” things You authored could be accomplished still. Thank You that You author the best of everything, with only my best interest at heart. Thank You for not listening to my feeble reasoning, yet encouraging me on, supplying precisely what I need to accomplish Your plan for the future. Remind me of who You are, and who I am, your beloved child. Thank You for always loving me, and never, ever, giving up on me, even when it feels like others or even I myself might surrender to doubt. Help me to always lean on Your everlasting arms, In Jesus’ name, Amen.