Sinking onto the cement, fifteen-year-old Collette let her gaze fix on the painted autumn mountains. Every time life seemed too much, she retreated to her hidden perch on the patio behind the house. No deer currently grazed in the fields before the mountains, but if she stayed just a little longer she expected to sight some.
Why, Lord? Why is life so hard?
The only answer was a rustle of the leaves ruffled by the breeze.
She knew God heard her. She also knew He was trying to teach her something. But her emotions had gotten the best of her. Maybe is was the stress of high school. The drama of friends. The hormones of being a fifteen-year-old female. Maybe it was all three.
Yes, all three plus a yearning in her soul to know her life mattered. That God did have great plans for her. To know that all those promises in the Bible were written for her, too.
Wrapping her arms around her knees she bowed her head in sincere prayer, God, help me to see. Help me to see there’s more to this life than what I’m doing now. The pain and the confusion are just overwhelming.
Ten years later, Collette retreated to the trail. She was hundreds of miles from where she grew up, yet, as always, she felt at home in her Father’s creation. Today’s run would have to be quick: she had a baby to get back to. As her feet pounded the pavement her mind keep a conversation with her King. God, I know You know what You’re doing. I don’t understand, but I trust You. Help me to hear Your voice. Help me to hear Your encouragement that I’m on the right track. Help me to hear from You that yes, there is more… I know you have plans for me, I just don’t see how this will get me there…
Now in her thirties, Collette awoke at 5:30. She bounded from bed, donning her running shoes. She was tethered to the basement while her daughters slept and her husband traveled, but it didn’t matter. She must start every day working out her body and her soul. Setting the timer and turning up the volume to her worship music, she began her series of figure-eights around the pavement. As her feet flew, her heart poured forth to her Father. God, this life has not been what I thought it would be, but You know the plans You have for me. I have been learning to trust You. Help my heart to know yes, You have me. And I’m right where You want me at this very moment. You are molding me, shaping me. You are guiding me. You delight in me and are not disappointed. You have forgiven me even when I haven’t forgiven myself. Reveal to me what you have for me today. Help me be content with whatever Your assignment is . God, You are all I need. You are everything.
It took over two decades for Collette to learn a simple, yet profound truth: God has plans for each of us. They may not look like plans we would design, but His plans are good. He can be trusted. In her quest for “more”, she initially missed what she really sought: complete love and acceptance. She didn’t need to do great things to be seen by her Creator. She didn’t need to say great things to be someone significant to her King. She didn’t need to be anything other than what He had authored for her.
While she thought there had to be more, she had to be more, God was that more. He had her life details figured out, down to the last second. She was not a mistake. Her life had a very real meaning. She was needed here to do her assignment from the One who created her, gifted her, and loved her. All she needed to do was draw close to Him. Use what He gave her and trust in Him.
There wasn’t any more she had to do, had to find, or had to be. In God’s eye, she was enough. His overwhelming assurance quenched her thirst for “more.” When life overwhelmed and she search for relief, she had found what she sought. She learned she could do all things through Christ who strengthened her. She didn’t need anything or anyone else.
She needed no more.