Have you ever thought “Life isn’t supposed to be this way?”
When I was diagnosed with stage three cancer in my early thirties, I was shocked. As doctors evaluated my lifestyle, genetics, and environmental exposures, there were more questions than answers. I was a runner, a diligent counter of produce servings. I didn’t smoke, drink, or do any substances, other than regularly consume chocolate. (No, chocolate wasn’t and isn’t on the list of suspected carcinogens!) I didn’t take medicine on a regular basis for anything. No one in my family had cancer that young, and cancer overall didn’t run in my family. It didn’t make sense.
And yet …
David was anointed to be king in the future. And yet, in 1 Samuel 23, we find David running for his life from the current king, Saul. David did all he was supposed to do.
David had a list of victories under his belt.
David followed God’s instructions.
So why wasn’t he king yet, and why did he need to run for his life? It didn’t make sense.
If you’ve been in any situation where you tried your best to do what you thought was commanded, expected, wise, and prudent, and yet, it wasn’t working out as you thought it should, what do you do? What do you do when it just doesn’t make sense?
As tempting as it is to give up, that’s not it.
God promises to supply all our needs (Philippians 4:19). We see God supplying David’s needs for both a friend and for reasoning and encouragement in 1 Samuel 23.
Jonathan, Saul’s son, as in the heir to Saul’s throne, spoke life and encouragement into David. He pointed out facts: David would be king over Israel. Jonathan knew his God-ordained place: as second to David, not as heir after Saul. And Joanthan was okay with it, because he knew it was God’s plan.
Jonathan’s words would also serve to encourage David to trust God. Trust in the promise of David’s call to lead the nation, to his anointing. Trust in God’s timing.
That’s hard when we’re running for our lives, hiding in caves, whether literally or metaphorically. I detested the trips to get chemo. Dreaded the experience the entire half hour drive there. I wanted to bolt, turn around, and refuse treatment. I didn’t.
I knew I had to go through, to get to the other side. I had fourteen infusions, and I got to practice patience and trust fourteen times. No, I haven’t mastered it. But this I know: God can be trusted.
My trusting in God eclipsed my being ruled by fear. As afraid as I was to allow those drugs to course through my veins, I trusted God. I believed I needed to walk through treatment.
No, the cancer journey was not in my plan for my life. I didn’t think that detail needed to be part of my story to help me reach my mission, but God allowed it. He planned to use it. And although it was a side-trip I hadn’t foreseen, my response needed to be one of trusting in God.
Trust may not be your knee-jerk reaction. It’s certainly not always mine. Even now.
Our enemy likes to steal, kill, and destroy. An easy method is to simply instill fear. I know fear can upset me, paralyze me, and bring me to my knees.
Yet on my knees is the best place to fight it. God promises to supply all our needs. That includes the need to act in faith when we’re afraid. For me, that meant trusting in God to carry me through each chemo infusion, protect me through each radiation treatment, and to heal me from cancer. He ultimately did all that.
And ultimately, David did become king.
Those unexpected detours don’t have to confine us in a black hole of terror.
They can refine us as purified gold.
They can actually help define us, in a good way, by growing our faith.
They grow our faith by granting us a personal history, that we build trust in God. Because we have experienced: He is trust-worthy.
Maybe you, too, have been there. At the crossroads of fear and faith, wondering, how on earth did I get here?
Maybe you’re there today.
This life isn’t meant to be easy, even when you play by the rules. But, we have a secret trump card. God. His promises. He will see us through every scenario. He will carry us through the crises. He will provide what we need.
We only need to ask. Will you join me in asking for just that?
Prayer: Dear Lord, It gets frustrating when I play by the rules, I thought I did what I should, and I am no where I thought I would end up. God, it’s hard to see your hand in hard places. When I’m running for my life, and not seeing anything that resembles your goodness, help me trust. Help me have faith when all I feel is fear. Help me call on you. Provide that friend to speak your truth and encourage me on, and Lord, may I be that friend to others in their time of need. Thank you God, for always supplying my needs. In Jesus’s name, Amen.