Utter frustration, raw anger and incredulous disbelief coursed through me. How can some people be like this? He wasn’t very kind; in fact no one would name him nice at all. He cursed quite a bit. He always looked for the easy way out and didn’t mind shifting hard things to others. And he knew exactly how to push my buttons!
Yet, I could not avoid him, no matter how much I wanted.
Oh, I took it to God. Yep, God sure heard how difficult it was to have to deal with him.
I angrily fumed.
I bitterly complained.
I passionately pleaded.
Let’s be honest, attitude-wise, I wasn’t acting all that dissimilar from him in my conversation to God. That’s when I realized something had to change.
Maybe you too have someone like him who gets you going. Someone who can make you forget every prayer uttered and Bible verse memorized and that you have confessed you want to be like Jesus!
Change was absolutely necessary, yes sirree.
You see, I began to realize, no matter what he did, I needed to work at living in peace with him. Not the ‘take whatever he dishes out, be a doormat’ type of holding the peace, but genuinely try to see him as God did: God’s child who, like me, was in desperate need of a heart transplant.
I realized that if I worked at living in peace, whether or not he responded in kind, I was obeying God.
I had spent plenty of time disobeying God with those less-than-gracious thoughts. Oh, I had carefully constructed a roadblock between me and God without ever trying. And oh, do I hate to be on the outs with my heavenly Father.
So I prayed. Oh, not the prayers I’d been praying. Not to change him. I prayed for God to change me. To change my negative attitude.
Oh, that prayer tasted like vinegar, just as the realization that my thought pattern toward him was no better than his behavior.
So I gave it all to God- without fuming, complaining or pleading. I sincerely asked Him to take the whole mess and clean it up, and to also take my heart and make it more like His.
I read Luke 6:36: “Be merciful, just as Your Father is merciful.” God had been extraordinarily merciful with me. I needed to do the same. Ouch.
As hard as it was, I needed to ask myself some difficult questions:
- Do I truly want to be a Christian?
- Do I realize being a Christian means mimicking Christ?
- What would Jesus do?
Okay, Jesus wouldn’t harbor a hardened heart. He would act justly and extend compassion. He’d tell the truth and then move on. He wouldn’t replay his hurt or lash out in frustration or anger. Lastly, He would definitely pray- surrendering it all to the Father and trusting Him.
Maybe you like me can’t imagine responding like Jesus every time someone pushes your buttons. But we can move closer to Christ by carrying our burdensome thoughts and attitudes to Him.
We can park on the promise of James 4:8 where God invites us to, “Come near to God and I will come near to you.”
In drawing nearer to Him we surrender at least in part, pieces of selfishness, arrogance and judgement on others.
And, when we draw near to God, eternity takes on a new measure. The irritations of today aren’t quite as grating.
I haven’t quite transformed my knee-jerk reaction to always give-it-to-God, extend grace, and get over it.
But, as I pray for God to change my perspective and draw me closer to Him, I am beginning to appreciate His guidance, adopt His attititude and learn to let go!
Maybe you too struggle with strong personalities, not-so-gracious reactions and just how to respond to someone who pushes your buttons. Won’t you join me in asking for God’s guidance in maneuvering daily interactions in a way that’s pleasing to Him?
Prayer: Dear Lord, Thank You for showing me that sometimes it’s my reaction… not someone’s action that does me more harm. Please help me surrender to Your gentle nurturing and please draw me closer to You, In Jesus’ name, Amen.