Tears slid down my cheeks as I silently drove through the countryside. I had just dropped off a daughter at a week-long camp. The daughter who was struggling, fighting so hard to make good, gut-level friends. The daughter who was trying to measure her worth against the world’s yardstick. In her eyes, she was woefully short.
I had two hours to pray and drive. Tell God what I thought of today’s teenagers. How I felt about a church that had fallen apart. And all the other contributors to that awful place my beautiful girl was at that moment. As the miles of countryside ended, I turned onto a major four-lane highway. I kept talking to him, the miles rolling by faster as my prayers tried to keep pace with my racing heart. The words tumbled out and my mama heartstrings cried as God heard what I thought about the pain my darling girl endured, and how I wished to take it for her.
I began recounting Scripture and telling God I believed those promises, that the story wasn’t over yet.
I’m impatient! God work now!
I know the plans I have for her. Plans not to harm her. Plans for a future with hope.
I closed my mouth. The familiar verse tailored just for her caught me off-guard. All the anger I felt over the months of watching her pain, the nights I stayed in her room until she fell asleep, the number of prayers I had prayed over her before she dutifully left for school, dragging her feet out that door- that anger had finally erupted out of me.
God knew it all along. But I finally had a safe place in my minivan to let it out. Where no one would hear, but God. He didn’t judge me. Instead, he comforted me, as only he could.
He comforted with the assurance he had her and wasn’t going to let her go.
If you’re a parent, you have probably been there.
You watch and pray as your child has the solitary journey down a horrifically hard road. You beg God to let you take the burden from your child, but that is just not the story he’s writing.
Those terrible years, yes years (!) ended up building her faith. Today, that girl who was so heartbroken is finding her way to helping others. She is well on her way to becoming a counselor to assist people through a pain she knows all too well. But she is making it through and finding redemption on the other side.
If you’re watching your child struggle, I am so sorry. I wish I could wrap you in a hug and personally pray with you. I know it’s a hurt like none other. A hurt you wish you could run and take yourself, just to save your son or daughter.
May I offer you a truth? God sees your child. He knows what he’s calling your child to be. He is holding him even when it wouldn’t appear so. And, he hears your prayers. He sees your tears. He so appreciates all you do to care for the child he gave you.
This challenge won’t last forever. (Even when going through it, the minutes seem like years).
Hang on to this promise: I know the plans I have. Plans to prosper and not to harm. Plans to give a future with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Will you join me in asking for his guidance with our children?
Prayer: Dear Lord, Guide me as I guide the child you gave me. I ache to see the pain and frustration she endures. I get angry myself when she seems stuck in a cycle of negative circumstances. Help me model faith. Help me be what my child needs from me, and give me the words when I can’t find the right ones. Lord, thank you for seeing, knowing, and working out everything my child needs. Help me be patient as I wait on you. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
If you feel you can, please comment below, and I will pray for you. You needn’t name names or circumstances. God knows. But I will promise to pray for you and the child in your life who needs deliverance.